Opened: December 20, 2019

Directed by: Tom Hooper

Starring: James Corden, Judi Dench, Jason Derulo, Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellen, Taylor Swift, Rebel Wilson, Francesca Hayward, Laurie Davidson, Robbie Fairchild, Mette Towley, Steven McRae, Danny Collins, Naoimh Morgan, Les Twins & Ray Winstone

Though it’s had long-standing runs both on Broadway and in the West End, I’ve never heard someone say they’ve enjoyed Cats, and after this, you still won’t.

Victoria (Francesca Hayward) is new in the junkyard and she comes just as the cats get ready for the Jellicle Ball. Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench) will choose a winner to go to the Heaviside Layer and be reborn.

Despite what the previous paragraph sets up, there is no plot to this film. It’s disturbing start to finish. The CGI will constantly throw you off and you’ll feel like you’re in a time vortex unsure if you’ve spent a minute, an hour or years watching this. There are some bright sides – Steven McRae’s Skimbleshanks and Grizabella’s (Jennifer Hudson) Memory – but they can’t save this.

Final say: This is a memory you don’t want. ★☆☆☆☆